Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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