They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
