Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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