i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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