just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
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Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
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Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
My liver is preforming stress tests.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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