If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
