PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
