so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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