whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Pants are for mortals
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
