The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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