her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize