why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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