you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize