I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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