I'm pants shitting drunk right now
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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