Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
