And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
