ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
It's shark week go big or go home
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
