U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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