isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
