I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
