i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
