Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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