She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize