doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
