hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
My pussy is not your playground.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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