hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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