Are we in a gay sports bar?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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