Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
