Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
