idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
