just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
