There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize