Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
