"it" just moved
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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