So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm getting married
To pizza
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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