remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
