Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
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Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
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