Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
