haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
