im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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