wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
