During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize