I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
