Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
