im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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