Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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