You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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