its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
