Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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