Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Never joke about your clitoris.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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