There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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