I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
