she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
