I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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