I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
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I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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